Ouch.

Ehem ehem..

I'm not feeling well with my throat now..guess after coming back from camp I kept on eating hurts my throat even my phlegm having bloods..additional that day argue with Jean,I screamed!..sighs..I feel so boring at home cause honeys kept on going to sri petaling for massage every monday till saturday..they only have time with me on sundays..thou we get to eat dinner together..but after dinner..I'm still alone either in the room or online..How many days still left to hostel?11 or 12 I guess..no time for me after I came back..what to do?I have really big appetite now but I dont know what to eat.I miss indians food..I get bored with chinese food since ages ago,but mom not really into indians food and we only go for chinese food chinese food and chinese food!*I DONT LIKE IT FOR EVERY DAY MEALS!*

I hope there's someone to be free for this whole week so I could eat and shop for the whole week from afternoon till night!

Mom didnt realised my throat until yesterday my voices changed and we went for fried rice in CHINESE RESTAURANT again..I dont know what the hell is going on but I kept on feeling like eating eating and eating..mood changes all the time..I dont get to eat together in one table with family..like for even yesterday dad's busy cause playing mahjong with his friends and didnt had dinner with us..I was so upset and disappointed..waited for the whole week and yet he's busy with something ignores me! I hate mahjong cause it made people go adDICKted and forgets bout the other stuff..I dont know how's the relationship will be going on between family and I..perhaps I have to live alone?or get a bf?*NAH!*

I feel like spreading fire on someone and scream out loud to let go my anger and sadness..I wish there's a place for me to calm down my mind..where to go with nowadays everywhere's safe with police only care and wants for rasuah ?

I dont feel safe in everywhere I go now..I dont feel happy,I dont know where to go..I always go wrong direction..is this the way how I suppose to learn from?

Everyone in the house living happily except for me..is it my problem?I did not try my best to make relationship better?