I Know How Much You Hate Me.

I hope tonight I sleep tight and I wont wake up again.

I'm tired..tired of being siblings with my brother.

Oops.Its the eldest one.

I'm trying very hard to build good relationship and communication with him.BARRIER!

I wanted to be like small time which everyones said that my brothers sayang me a lot.Heart ache now,I dont want to talk to anyone,neither than mom.I told her what happened and she said just leave it as brother's attitude IS LIKE THAT! what you meant by Its Like That?!

I feel wanna run,not jogging..running away.

He is much more making me sad than people that I have to face in hospital..no matter how demand patient is I dont mind.Because we are not blood related and the only thing you know that I will treat every patient as my family.That's what I choose nursing.You walk and feel the love and sadness with them.No matter how people say bad words bout me or tease..I will ignore it..but this?! Hello,we are borned from the same parents.Blood related that's what siblings and family stands for.Not hurting each other and making all sad and meeting in the mortuary.I guess if I disappear you would be more happy,ya I think that you will burn all the crackers to celebrate what happen next.Do you know how hurt when you said that to me? Is it that bad to tolerate?

I wish I'm deaf,but I dont wish I'm mute to tell you that I still love you as my brother.

I still love my parents although I make them worried most of the time.
I want to say sorry for the mistaken I've done.

I know you hate my voice because you said its very noisy and irritates you,and I love to talk when you are watching tv.Have you ever think before you did the same thing to me as well? Tons of things that you dont know because you cant see yourself and judge yourself.You think you are clever which only in the business part but not relationship.I dont wish you to see this post or if you really see this.I bet you wont see me in the rest of your life.

I'm thinking to leave the home when everything done and times come.Happy now.FUCK YOU !