Its time to change?

You've seen my blog..times and times..

you realised how I see life is about..positively and negatively..

but I know..I dont see things positively much.

Mom always said I demands things for perfect.
Dad said he dont needs me to be perfect.

Kaiye said I shouldnt think about the past.

Uncle Vicky said I should let go the past and look into the future.
Kaima will just laugh everything I complaint and she likes to tease me "very much"

Dad wants me to be relax and enjoy my studies.

Mom wants to see me to be more happy and dont see things so serious which made me sad and stress all the while.

Kaima tried so hard to date me all the time to have dinner with them which I used to be every weekend when I was childhood and primary.I know how everyone sayangs me.I guess my weakness really disappointed everyone..and I think I hurt the one who sayangs me really much.I know life is not easy and to be independent for a person who is so protected since not born.I dont know..I dont want to know and think of how it will be..I'm tired of thinking what's going to happen later,tomorrow and after.I'm tired of hearing brothers nagging that I dont think any consequences of things I do and what's gonna happen next.It shouldnt be like that.It should be fun but things that I do its all nonsense to them.

I know I'm the youngest and I do not know how to earn even a peny thou I spent half of my parents property..but..no but? Passing the moments with thinking all the next would be and should be? IRRITATES ME A LOT !

Food? The one I spent almost the pocket money on it which made my size goes like apple and pear?How many idiot times I have said to control and think positively? You knows cause you see how monster I am to swallow every single left thing in front of me.I realised I should stop my bad attitude long ago but its just like addicted.I've made myself to a disease? An olive disease? I think..I'm just thinking..to get a partner but so far..hmmm..just forget about it..I know fate havent come yet and not so early kan?So..I just want to change myself..to be a better and happier person..
:)